I’ve read this book twice and I wanted to write a review because I found conception additional women’s experiences with a book and applying their personal situations to it very helpful. This book is not as breezy and whimsical as additional self-help books on dating a “divorced/divorcing” man with kids, but it is very thorough, sympathetic and right on about a lot of things that we women go through (in my case, dating a “divorcing” man, which is the riskiest of them all!) Before I read the book, I was mostly confused, insecure, and frustrated about always coming second to his kids and his divorce; always waiting for the phone to ring and not sure whether I could have a weekend getaway or a holiday with my man. I wanted more – but felt I couldn’t demand more because I didn’t want to add more pressure in his life. And when I just didn’t care and went on with my life (work, friends, leisure activities and travels) I felt guilty! I felt I was abandoning him, during the time when he needed me the most. Ill-treat! Rather than feeling terrible all the time, the book taught me how to be right to myself and place “me” first. To place enough distance to see where his divorce ends up (not get involved with all the messy details…) and to not push things too soon. Compared to additional self help books on the subject, the author never wants you to be converted into second best; to be disrespected at any time or to be taken for granted…you should be treated an equal, especially once the relationship takes a serious turn. Kids need parenting and time and effort, really understandable. But you shouldn’t compromise your own needs for them. In a nutshell, the author gives women more value than what they feel they deserve. I will never forget her input/output notion: if the input far outweighs the output then maybe the relationship is not value it. And if you will go through all the challenges and struggles of dating a divorced/divorcing man…he should be “fabulous” and really value it. This was fantastic and helped me muddle through all the confusion.

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Maureen Upton –

  

Dr. Christie Hartman’s “Dating the Divorced Man” gives release women a no-nonsense manual for getting to know this key demographic in the dating world. With specific examples, she clearly defines the different states of separated/divorcing/divorced men and the challenges that they can present. That said, she also leaves room for mature women to make their own choices based on what each individual is comfortable with, which is much more helpful than a black-and-white lessons book in this murky area. I recommend her book to any release woman — if you wait until you’re already dating a divorced man to read it, you may have made key mistakes already!

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At the time I read this book, I had already been dating a divorced man for about 5 months so I was a bit late on ready it. I came across the book because I wanted to know if there was information out there for women in my circumstance and what questions/clues should I be asking or tune into to make sure the guy was not a flake.

Surely enough, the book was very helpful. The author presents different scenarios (hypothetically of course) and questions women should keep in mind when entering into a relationship/acquiantance of a divorced man. I’ll point out that the conception also applies for divorcing/separated men as well. For my circumstance, I was on track and getting the truth about the situation.

Over all, it is a excellent read and has lots of “food for thought”.

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